My Coach Isabelle

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8/11/2017

Have you ever, just like me just now, thought to yourself "Wow, already 2 years!". No need to answer...
2 years since my last post! Yes! Don't bother checking the dates and trust me on that one. 2 years shy of a few days.
Bad bad bad..!!. or not...:-)?

Instead of beating myself down, or turning my back to it, I am quickly processing this reality and looking for a meaningful story to tell myself about this situation. Some call it an "excuse", I prefer to see it as a simple explanation of something that was not serving me well any longer. Because that is what it is.

As I tell my clients, there are always good reasons to drop a new habit, as well as bad ones...! Together we explore and determine in which group your habit fits and we go from there.

- Good reason? Then, what was the goal of that habit and what other, more attractive and realistic habit would you like to start instead? Maybe you already have something else going on covering that goal?

- Bad reason? Then, are you interested in starting that habit again? Maybe your life has changed and now is a better time? What is stopping you from maintaining it? What other thing do you need to change before you can make this a successful habit? Any little thing you could tweak?

So in my case, I believe that blogs are not the best and easiest way to communicate with you anymore. It feels like I am communicating from the bottom of a long tunnel and hearing nothing in return. Not too exciting.
In a way, I can say that I have actually expanded my "communication strategy" by doing 2 things:

- Migrating to facebook for quick and inspiring messages.
- Publishing a few books for deeper messages I have in me to share with you.

Now, don't be surprised if for a while at least I start posting articles in here again... just because! You know how that human brain of ours works...
But still, don't hold your breath and in case I don't, join me on facebook either way. See you there!

Lulu Press

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Unthink by Erik Wahl

9/29/2015

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Not sure this title really catches the essence of the content, but the content surely is worth it."Be your unique self" is more along the thoughts expressed in here.

This is about realizing that we are all artists in the real and widest sense of it, just by having our 2 brains: the one that keeps us safe and bored, and the one that wants to explore and make things exciting. This broader vision of "the artist" will open your horizons and will show you what you could do (PICASSO) to actualize your potential and enjoy life more fully.

This book is an invitation to reconnect with our inner child/true self, the being we were born as, and combine it with the powerful adult you have become. This combination brings the best out of us, making us feel freer, happier, more successful and more authentic.

A win-win for all: the child and the adult in you, your 2 brains and all those around you in your life, personal and professional! Recommended for ADHDers and non.

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5 Non-food rewards to your efforts

7/1/2015

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Reaching for food is an easy way to reward ourselves after having accomplished a difficult task, or having done something we didn't enjoy. But it also has its negative side effects: weight gain, unhealthy diet. Could there be other effective ways to reward ourselves in our daily small accomplishments? Don't disregard the obvious...

1- Just feel it!

Feel the pride, the relief, the joy that comes from having faced your fear, your doubts, your laziness. There is nothing more rewarding then that if you take the time to pay attention to how you feel. You are capable of much more than you think.

See the bigger picture in which your action fits. See what it allows you or others to do now, its positive impact. See the doors opening...

2- Self talk

We often look outside ourselves for fulfillment. However, the brain also has its pleasure system not associated with outside stimulants: our thoughts!! Pleasant thoughts uplift us and make us feel powerful. "Good job, I did it!" is a simple positive message that tells our brain we are happy about what just happened.

You might have done 5 minutes of cleaning, made a phone call you dreaded (and maybe just left a message), or 2 hours of intensive focusing on the computer. No matter what, you are closer to your goal and should acknowledge that to yourself.

You might actually be disappointed after you did a task because you didn't do as much as you expected. But do you ever stop and wonder if your expectations were realistic? The simple answer is that they were obviously not realistic, as they didn't become reality. Be gentle with yourself. So thank yourself for what you were able to do and for a minute forget about what still needs to be done. Plan another time to continue and celebrate the present.

This step comes naturally and is super easy if you did step 1 first.

3- List scratching or list making

The visual proof. Many of us keep "to do" lists. However not all lists are equal. Some are confusing, many are discouraging, and some are just the right tool. This in itself deserves a whole blog article. We will focus here on the scratching therapeutic effect.

This is a big reward. Enjoy every inch of the piece of paper you are scratching. 1 to 3 action items a day is usually realistic, not more. Don't forget that in reality you still have plenty of things to do that most of us don't put on our lists like "spend time with kids, prepare diner, answer phone calls etc..."

If the action you did is not on your list, look to see if it is a sub-action of another item. If so, you can add it below as an indentation and scratch it. You are not done with the full task, but you did progress. You can also add it at the bottom of your list and scratch it immediately. This is not cheating, as it will reflect better what you have accomplished that day, and deserves to be acknowledged.

Finally, when your list is half done, it might be motivating to copy the rest of your list on a new paper. Makes the list look shorter...

And... if you don't make "to do" lists, start making lists of "done" things! We like loooong ones!

4- Share the good news

Too many bad news out there! Who doesn't like hearing about good news? Tell someone about your accomplishment. Phone, email, live talk... choose someone affected by your accomplishment (your spouse for making that doctor's appointment call regarding your back issue, your colleague who was waiting on you to finish your part of the project) or someone you agreed to mutually share successes with (buddy support).

Your reward will be double: pride in announcing a good news (surprise even?) and the pleasant reaction your carefully picked partner will have.

5- Follow up with a fun distraction

Spend a reasonable amount of time doing a small thing you enjoy. Get up, change space and use your other senses than taste ( that one is for when you are hungry) like your hearing, vision, or full body by going out for a 10 minute walk in your backyard or the streets, checking your social media (had to say that one...) , or listening to an upbeat song that always puts you in a good mood.

You can also use this as a motivation in addition to a reward by deciding on this action before you start your task. I am going to do 30 minutes of cleaning up my closet and then 5 minutes of smelling the roses outside.

Just make sure you don't spend the rest of the day on it. Use a timer if necessary.

Inspired? Share with others what works best for you!

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Living with less "things" in our homes

2/24/2015

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A friend of mine with ADD recommended this book to me: “The life-changing magic of tidying up” by Marie Kondo. He thought it was exceptional. Without asking him why he thought so, I decided to read it and find out for myself. As someone who appreciates neatness and organization, I thought that it would probably be well worth it. I was not disappointed, hence this blog.

As in Marie’s case, I too recall the joy of being the one in preschool in charge of organizing. I was responsible for putting everyone’s scarves, gloves and hats in a flat rectangular cardboard box. As the children gave me their items I would pile them up flat in the box by category. I quickly noticed that the kids who gave me their items first would be the last ones to get them back for recess. I also thought that was probably not what they really wanted…

“In essence, tidying ought to be the act of restoring balance among people, their possessions, and the house they live in.”

Marie Kondo has a very simple and unique way of "decluttering" (dealing with clutter) and tidying up. Her approach can be summarized with a few guidelines.

First step: Decluttering. Decide what to keep and what to give. Pick up each item in your hands and ask yourself if it sparks joy. If it does, keep it, if not dispose of it. Start with clothes; follow with books, papers, miscellaneous items and finally items of sentimental value. This order makes the process easier. If you hesitate in your answer, look for either an attachment to the past, or a fear for the future connected with that item. Once you spend some time dwelling on this, you should get a clearer answer.

Second step: Tidying up. Store what you keep. Decide on one specific place for each item, group all items of the same type in the same location, and keep the amount of storage areas to a minimum. Ask your home where it wants your belongings to be stored.

Marie’s view regarding objects is very holistic. Objects carry energy and need to be treated with consideration. They have their own sensitivity and needs. We as humans can open up to this reality and use it to bring us more peace and contentment. Oh… and Marie suggests you greet your house upon entering!

There are a couple more interesting thoughts I want to share with you. Marie says that:

Tidying your place is an excellent way to learn about yourself and see more clearly what is next for you in your life. Everything we possess has attracted us for a reason and finding that connection helps us understand who we are, what we value and what we really want in life.

Going through the process of consulting with yourself about the “joy” factor of each item is a great way to improve your decision-making skills. We often make decisions based on logic, weighing pros vs cons. Here, we go with our gut, a very different method, scarier for many of us, which I personally believe is underutilized.

Like people, objects enter our lives to serve a purpose and once fulfilled, there is no need to keep them. Joy should always be the reason of their presence in our lives. Sometimes, just the joy of buying something fulfills its purpose for us. Disposing of it quickly after is ok. Sometimes, that joy lasts for years and it is fine to keep that item. I particularly like Marie’s view regarding items we receive as presents that we don’t particularly like. They are a physical manifestation of a person’s appreciation for us. If we keep that in mind, we can let them go without feeling guilty.

As you can see, the main thought is that objects are here to serve us and to bring us joy and inspiration. If for any reason this is not the case, we can give ourselves permission to discard them. This gives the object a second chance to make someone else happy. Marie even suggests making the letting go process a celebration worthy of a ceremony. Staying in a dark closet is not the intended purpose of our possessions. Neither should we clutter our lives with objects that no longer bring us joy.

I cannot finish without mentioning Marie’s unique way of folding clothes that go in drawers. Knowing this method would have actually helped me with my preschool dilemma! She suggests folding items in a rectangular fashion and making them stand up in a drawer so you can see them all at a glance. You can easily grab whichever you need, any time without having to lift all the others…

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Inspiring ideas to become a bit happier

10/3/2014

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Inspiration 2

9/8/2014

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Inspiration 1

8/17/2014

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The ABCs of coaching

5/25/2014

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What can I do for you? You are asking me...

This is a good time to make sure you know what you can expect if you hire one of us life coaches, business coaches, executive coaches, retirement coaches... we all do the same.

We help you go from point A to point B in your life. "A" is where you are currently, which you are not too thrilled with (to say the least) and "B" is where you wish you were (and for which you are ready to make changes). Because let's face it, without WILLPOWER and room for CHANGE, nothing significant can happen.

The magic tool? A COACH: Someone who supports you when you are ready to go outside your comfort zone.

What if I am not sure what I want?

In that case, we start by clarifying who you are, where you are in life and what desires might make you happier.

Sounds basic, but many of us have lost our sense of self, and live by unconsciously imitating others and following what society says is "a normal desire" and what "makes people happy". Put differently, I'd say there are no "You SHOULD do/have/be this or that", there is only what YOU FEEL and BELIEVE in good for you.

What if I am dying to be at "B" but don't have what it takes to get there and believe I never will?

No worries, there is a solution to every problem. The good news is that you know what you want! Here is where we dive into coaching. Ready?

- What is it exactly that you want?
- What obstacles do you see?
- What do you fear?
- What do you tell yourself about those obstacles?
- What skill would you need to have to overcome those obstacles?
- What would you need to believe about yourself?
- How can you get there?
- And blah blah blah...

The right set of questions will lead you to find the right answers, to see the right option for you and to make the right decision regarding your issue. Maybe "B" ends up not being what you really want, and you find out that "C" is!

No matter what, with the help of a good coach you will be more aware of your situation and of what you can concretely do about it. Next...!!

What if in spite of all that new clarity I have gained, I do nothing about it?

Good question!

Coaching is not only about talking and thinking but also about results and concrete changes. To cover that, coaching offers an accountability system.

At the end of every session, you have the opportunity to decide of what you want to commit to have done by the following session. Your coach is there to review with you those commitments and to help you make adjustments if those commitments were not reached.

Cutting one big task into smaller ones, receiving encouragement and celebrating their accomplishment is a key factor of success for many clients.

So DARE exploring the uncomfortable, jumping into your dreams and get the unconditional support of a coach.

#coaching #abcs #experiencecoaching

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International Coaching Week May 19-25

5/22/2014

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FACE YOUR FEARS

This might sound counter-intuitive at first, but having the courage to do something that scares you brings a special kind of satisfaction that uplifts you like nothing else. Your self-esteem jumps out of the chart and suddenly, everything becomes possible. You are then ready and empowered to follow your dreams!

Challenging yourself, going outside your comfort zone, can be exciting if you prepare yourself well for it. Go for little steps and look for supporting people around you.

If you do not prepare yourself at all, you will stay centered on your fear, in panic mode, and will not act. You might grow more and more fearful of life, frustrated and bitter.

Explore:

- What fears do you have? (Fear of failure, of ridicule, of being poor…)
- What specific situations can you identify currently? (Afraid of losing your child’s love if you are stricter, of changing job, of going on a trip alone …)
- What are the hidden beliefs under those fears?
- What are the hidden needs behind those fears?
- What fears have you overcome? Remember the circumstances. What quality did you use to overcome them?

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International Coaching Week May 19-25

5/22/2014

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ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO

Although we can find much happiness in savoring the present moment, having something to look forward to in the future is also a great source of healthy living.

Knowing that something pleasurable will be coming to us boosts our energy levels and uplifts our mood. Suddenly the tougher moments ahead of us do not seem so painful. Those activities/events function as both motivators, and rewards.

So set at least one engaging activity for each week, day or month as best fits, and you will have one more reason to smile every day!

Exercise:

o Make a long term list, kind of your bucket list. Things you’d like to do in life, sooner or later. Crazy ones as well as small ones. No specific order, just what comes to your mind. Be generous with your time spent on this. Add things any time in the future. Enlist the help of a friend if you have no idea on how you could make it happen.

See how they can fit in your daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly schedules.

o Make a current list of things you are already doing and usually look forward to doing.

See how that fills in those same schedules.

Ø The goal is to have at least one thing you can enjoy every:

- DAY: time for reading, cuddling with your child, a walk in nature etc…
- WEEK/MONTH: a meeting outside the house, special time with a loved one, a class, a hobby etc…
- YEAR: a trip, a visit, a gathering of some sort, a new project etc…

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