Reaching for food is an easy way to reward ourselves after having accomplished a difficult task, or having done something we didn't enjoy. But it also has its negative side effects: weight gain, unhealthy diet. Could there be other effective ways to reward ourselves in our daily small accomplishments? Don't disregard the obvious...
1- Just feel it!
Feel the pride, the relief, the joy that comes from having faced your fear, your doubts, your laziness. There is nothing more rewarding then that if you take the time to pay attention to how you feel. You are capable of much more than you think.
See the bigger picture in which your action fits. See what it allows you or others to do now, its positive impact. See the doors opening...
2- Self talk
We often look outside ourselves for fulfillment. However, the brain also has its pleasure system not associated with outside stimulants: our thoughts!! Pleasant thoughts uplift us and make us feel powerful. "Good job, I did it!" is a simple positive message that tells our brain we are happy about what just happened.
You might have done 5 minutes of cleaning, made a phone call you dreaded (and maybe just left a message), or 2 hours of intensive focusing on the computer. No matter what, you are closer to your goal and should acknowledge that to yourself.
You might actually be disappointed after you did a task because you didn't do as much as you expected. But do you ever stop and wonder if your expectations were realistic? The simple answer is that they were obviously not realistic, as they didn't become reality. Be gentle with yourself. So thank yourself for what you were able to do and for a minute forget about what still needs to be done. Plan another time to continue and celebrate the present.
This step comes naturally and is super easy if you did step 1 first.
3- List scratching or list making
The visual proof. Many of us keep "to do" lists. However not all lists are equal. Some are confusing, many are discouraging, and some are just the right tool. This in itself deserves a whole blog article. We will focus here on the scratching therapeutic effect.
This is a big reward. Enjoy every inch of the piece of paper you are scratching. 1 to 3 action items a day is usually realistic, not more. Don't forget that in reality you still have plenty of things to do that most of us don't put on our lists like "spend time with kids, prepare diner, answer phone calls etc..."
If the action you did is not on your list, look to see if it is a sub-action of another item. If so, you can add it below as an indentation and scratch it. You are not done with the full task, but you did progress. You can also add it at the bottom of your list and scratch it immediately. This is not cheating, as it will reflect better what you have accomplished that day, and deserves to be acknowledged.
Finally, when your list is half done, it might be motivating to copy the rest of your list on a new paper. Makes the list look shorter...
And... if you don't make "to do" lists, start making lists of "done" things! We like loooong ones!
4- Share the good news
Too many bad news out there! Who doesn't like hearing about good news? Tell someone about your accomplishment. Phone, email, live talk... choose someone affected by your accomplishment (your spouse for making that doctor's appointment call regarding your back issue, your colleague who was waiting on you to finish your part of the project) or someone you agreed to mutually share successes with (buddy support).
Your reward will be double: pride in announcing a good news (surprise even?) and the pleasant reaction your carefully picked partner will have.
5- Follow up with a fun distraction
Spend a reasonable amount of time doing a small thing you enjoy. Get up, change space and use your other senses than taste ( that one is for when you are hungry) like your hearing, vision, or full body by going out for a 10 minute walk in your backyard or the streets, checking your social media (had to say that one...) , or listening to an upbeat song that always puts you in a good mood.
You can also use this as a motivation in addition to a reward by deciding on this action before you start your task. I am going to do 30 minutes of cleaning up my closet and then 5 minutes of smelling the roses outside.
Just make sure you don't spend the rest of the day on it. Use a timer if necessary.
Inspired? Share with others what works best for you!
1- Just feel it!
Feel the pride, the relief, the joy that comes from having faced your fear, your doubts, your laziness. There is nothing more rewarding then that if you take the time to pay attention to how you feel. You are capable of much more than you think.
See the bigger picture in which your action fits. See what it allows you or others to do now, its positive impact. See the doors opening...
2- Self talk
We often look outside ourselves for fulfillment. However, the brain also has its pleasure system not associated with outside stimulants: our thoughts!! Pleasant thoughts uplift us and make us feel powerful. "Good job, I did it!" is a simple positive message that tells our brain we are happy about what just happened.
You might have done 5 minutes of cleaning, made a phone call you dreaded (and maybe just left a message), or 2 hours of intensive focusing on the computer. No matter what, you are closer to your goal and should acknowledge that to yourself.
You might actually be disappointed after you did a task because you didn't do as much as you expected. But do you ever stop and wonder if your expectations were realistic? The simple answer is that they were obviously not realistic, as they didn't become reality. Be gentle with yourself. So thank yourself for what you were able to do and for a minute forget about what still needs to be done. Plan another time to continue and celebrate the present.
This step comes naturally and is super easy if you did step 1 first.
3- List scratching or list making
The visual proof. Many of us keep "to do" lists. However not all lists are equal. Some are confusing, many are discouraging, and some are just the right tool. This in itself deserves a whole blog article. We will focus here on the scratching therapeutic effect.
This is a big reward. Enjoy every inch of the piece of paper you are scratching. 1 to 3 action items a day is usually realistic, not more. Don't forget that in reality you still have plenty of things to do that most of us don't put on our lists like "spend time with kids, prepare diner, answer phone calls etc..."
If the action you did is not on your list, look to see if it is a sub-action of another item. If so, you can add it below as an indentation and scratch it. You are not done with the full task, but you did progress. You can also add it at the bottom of your list and scratch it immediately. This is not cheating, as it will reflect better what you have accomplished that day, and deserves to be acknowledged.
Finally, when your list is half done, it might be motivating to copy the rest of your list on a new paper. Makes the list look shorter...
And... if you don't make "to do" lists, start making lists of "done" things! We like loooong ones!
4- Share the good news
Too many bad news out there! Who doesn't like hearing about good news? Tell someone about your accomplishment. Phone, email, live talk... choose someone affected by your accomplishment (your spouse for making that doctor's appointment call regarding your back issue, your colleague who was waiting on you to finish your part of the project) or someone you agreed to mutually share successes with (buddy support).
Your reward will be double: pride in announcing a good news (surprise even?) and the pleasant reaction your carefully picked partner will have.
5- Follow up with a fun distraction
Spend a reasonable amount of time doing a small thing you enjoy. Get up, change space and use your other senses than taste ( that one is for when you are hungry) like your hearing, vision, or full body by going out for a 10 minute walk in your backyard or the streets, checking your social media (had to say that one...) , or listening to an upbeat song that always puts you in a good mood.
You can also use this as a motivation in addition to a reward by deciding on this action before you start your task. I am going to do 30 minutes of cleaning up my closet and then 5 minutes of smelling the roses outside.
Just make sure you don't spend the rest of the day on it. Use a timer if necessary.
Inspired? Share with others what works best for you!
