Blog Posts - My Coach Isabelle

International Coaching Week May 19-25

5/21/2014

FOLLOW YOUR VALUES!

To feel fulfilled, we need to express and live our values. They are our compass to happiness.

A value is an activity, a behavior or a quality you must have in your life: love, creativity, learning, adventure, passion, beauty, respect etc…

We do not all have the same values, and they definitely do not come with the same order of priority. They can also change with time.

Example: I have a high ranking for the value of “exploration” and my life is quite full with obligations and routine. Maybe I cannot leave on a trip for a few days, but I can probably take a couple of hours occasionally and explore a new neighborhood in my city, or watch a documentary on TV about a foreign country. That will fulfill my need for exploration and will make me feel happy.

So:

-          What are your top 10 values?
-          How are you expressing them in your life?
-          What could you do to incorporate them more in your life?
-          What are your loved ones values? Which ones do you have in common?

International Coaching Week May 19-25

5/20/2014

CHOOSE TO HAVE A POSITIVE OUTLOOK ON LIFE

Human beings have a natural tendency to see the negative and the danger first. This is part of our “SURVIVAL MECHANISM” that was very useful in the past.

The truth is that nowadays most situations we face do not require this kind of extreme defensive response. We need to develop our “WELCOME MECHANISM” and have it kick as often as possible so we can get the best of every situation we face.

Here are some beliefs that will serve us better:

o   On people

- People always try their best (with what they have) in spite of how disappointing they can be.
- I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt and to accept them the way they are.
- It is within my power to forgive others, regardless of their attitude.
- I can always find an acceptable reason why someone “failed me” (use your imagination).

o   On ourselves

- If I “fail”, I have won at trying.
- If I have not tried yet, I can always try now.
- I am here to learn and feel. Pain is not a bad word, it is a sign I need to do some learning.

o   On events

- Things are not good or bad per se, I am the one who puts a label on them. I choose the positive one, even if I am hurting.
- Everything happens for a (good) reason but I do not always have access to it. I have to trust, as I do not always have the big picture.

International Coaching Week May 19-25

5/19/2014

KNOW YOURSELF, ACCEPT YOURSELF, HONOR YOURSELF

o   Know yourself:

- Who am I? Do I know myself well?
- What do I enjoy doing the most? What does it bring me?
- What am I good at?
- If I had to describe myself in a sentence, what would I say? What is the essence of who I am?

o   Accept yourself:

- What am I rejecting about myself and what can I do to accept it? How can I see it as something positive? What opportunities could it bring to my life? Which of my needs might it be responding to?
- What do I not like about myself? Why? What does it say about me? Is that true?
- What do I accept about myself the most easily? Why is it so easy? What do I believe about it?

o   Honor yourself

- What part of myself I am not currently honoring/ expressing? What is stopping me from honoring it? What am I afraid might happen?
- What do I enjoy honoring the most about myself? Why? What does it say about me? Is that true?

Falling in Spring

3/29/2014

Only the most observant among you will have noticed that I already failed in my New Year's Resolution. Well, it was temporary. I got back up as if nothing had happened... technology is wonderful! I am glad I just got that New Year's Resolution trilogy behind me. Time for something new.

I'd like to talk about falling-failing actually. Falling, failing, are normal events in a normal life. With or without a banana peel around, but even more often with a goal to achieve.

It is already March, so chances are that if you have been trying something new this year, by now, you too have failed on some aspect of your goal. And if you didn't, beautiful!!

While falling/failing may be disappointing, discouraging, disheartening. disastrous, here is what you don't need to go through if you don't want to: continuously reliving the pain of the fall. Once is enough. The pain happened when you hit the ground. Sure, you still feel bruised, but you don't need to stay stuck in time.

Here are a few things you can do to recover:

- Identify what made you fall.

Probably not a banana peel. So? It is often a lack of something: motivation, means, knowledge, experience, courage, ... make sure you get them in your backpack for next time you go out. As you might know, heroes are always well prepared. Enlist more help if needed. See if you need to find a new strategy or just be more patient with yourself and your current way of doing things.

- Remember all the times you did not fall.

See what you have already accomplished and succeeded at doing. Each of those moments were potential failures you avoided. So count your victories, display them for yourself and keep them in your emergency pocket. They prove that you can get it done when you are at your best.

- Remember your goal and what initially drove you to it.

Keep an eye on the horizon, on what is really important to you; not on the pebbles, rocks or boulders on your way. Inspiration lifts up your heart and gives you the courage you need. Go back to step one, look at your goals, visualize them. Is it still what you want? Do you need to make some adjustments? Go ahead, write down your new goal and focus on it. Maybe you also need to adjust the steps to reach it, and explore again your options.

- Get back into action.

Once you are clear about why you failed and you have picked the right tool to prevent the same from happening again, get back on track and continue walking. Look forward to the next obstacle because it is also your next opportunity to succeed.

So, as the title says, spring back up when you are ready and continue on your path! Because whether you do it or not, time will pass, and it is easier to have regrets over things we did than over the ones we didn't do.

AND ENJOY THE JOURNEY, ALL OF IT: falls included!!

New Year's Resolutions - The ONE for you (part 3 final)

2/18/2014

"Getting a new job", "Making time for myself"... you have thought about it many times, and for many years, but this time, you are ready to take action and make it happen.

If your goal sounds like one of those, sorry, but it is too general. It is a good start though, don't get me wrong. You need to make it more specific so you know exactly what you are aiming for and when you reach it.

Here are 2 common tools to use at this stage: the SMART technique and visualization.

THE SMART TECHNIQUE - It will help you:

- Go for the right goal
- Know where you are in your progress
- Know when you have reached your goal.

So you will take your goal and rewrite it with more words. It needs to be:

S for Specific:
Answer the questions starting with: Who, what, when, where that can apply to your general goal. Use action verbs.

M for Measurable:
Think in numbers for quantity and quality. How many pounds, how many times, how much time per day/week/month. It means that "often, rarely, less, more" are not good enough. "Always" and "never" (= 0) are good if they are realistic. Getting to that in a minute...

Focus on the outcome. Use observable actions. What does your goal look like, sounds like, feels like?

A for Achievable:
Do you have the resources to reach your goal? The personal capacities? The time, the means? If not, can you find the right help? Where? Those will be action steps, or "subgoals" from your initial goal.

R for Relevant:
How does this goal serve you? What in it is important for you? What needs will it fulfill? How is it in alignment with what you believe in? If it isn't, do you still want it? And if so, how will you deal with this conflict?

After this stage, you might feel like redirecting your goal because you found a better way to fulfill the real desire behind your initial goal. If so, no problem. it is not too late. Restart at S. Yes, life is like a game, like a board game it looks like... in which we all win...sooner or later..:-)

and T for Time-bound:
By when? A calendar date please! According to your specific goal, it can be a month, not necessarily a date, but make sure you have a deadline, so you can measure time passing and know how much time is left for you to reach your goal. This will bring a frame to your goal and motivate you to make efforts NOW, because you know that if you do, you can end those efforts at your deadline.

I have personally always hated answering questions on paper, so if you are like me, get a friend and see what you each come up with.
Some people do not like sharing their goals with others because they do not want to say something and not do it. For that same reason, other people like and benefit from sharing their intentions. Up to you.

If you don't know, just pick one option and see how it works. If it doesn't, try the other way. Life is long, we are here to try over and over if necessary. Just remember to change something in the doing, improving it, so the result is also different, hopefully better...

VISUALIZATION - It will help you:

- Get familiar with your goal, as if it was already here.
- Feel how much you really want it.
- Help it manifest.

We all know about this technique. But only few of us probably use it. Give it a try, it is VERY powerful.

See your goal accomplished, reached, in your minds's eye, smell it, hear it, feel it emotionally, explore it already, as if it was present. The more details the better. For instance, you want to lose weight, see yourself in the mirror, hear others tell you how great you look, feel the pleasure of moving more freely etc.

If you can't see much, give it a rest, but every day try again to see more details about your goal. Decide of them as you go. Don't push it, just go with how you feel about it. if it is really a desire you have, it will grow naturally. Give it time and space. Take it for what it is at first: a wish, a fantasy, a dream, a seed implanted in your mind.

This visualization exercise will help you identify better what your goal really means to you personally. You are giving it a 3D definition. It goes from being a vague idea, to being a specific vision. It is going From being a feeling, to being words, to adopting a form, a shape, a color, a smell and is on its way to manifesting. It is simply the process of creation.

oh.... BELIEVE in it! KNOW that you can reach further than what you think, if you really want it...

and the key is to know that it will not fall on your lap suddenly, but that you will have to put effort in it, one step at a time.

And now, all is left for you to do is get STARTED and DO DO Do till you get it!

New Year's Resolutions - Making a list, checking it twice...( part 2)

1/20/2014

Ok, I figure that by now everyone has a list of resolutions in front of them... It is ok if it is just a first draft. Anything will do actually... You think you have too many resolutions? Don’t worry, you are not supposed to start them all at once. Now, back to that idea of “the right time”: there are phases to our desires and to making them happen. Resolutions that have a chance to work are in the certain phase. The "mature" phase if you will...:-)

Your job now, is to find on that list which resolution(s) are the ones you are ready to work on, and which ones need some more maturation. What a relief right? At least temporarily. ..

You will usually end up with one or two resolutions only. If you come up with more than one, see what they have in common and if they could fit under a wider umbrella with a newly formulated resolution. And if you still have more than one, lucky you! You can be the super hero of the year if you chose to! Next December that is...if all goes well.

Back on track: So which resolution sounds like a realistic one to undertake? One mature and ready to be acted upon? Which one do you feel ready for? Motivated and equipped to pursue? If you have a hard time answering those questions, try using the chart to download below. It should help you find out which resolution(s) deserves your attention and energy right now. For each of your resolutions, select one of the four columns, the one that best fits your self-talk when you think about that resolution. Watch for the green zone, (last column)! That's the one with your mature resolutions!

resolution_phases.pdf
File Size:	99 kb
File Type:	pdf

Oh, and we’ll talk ( I will write) about HOW to be successful with that green resolution of yours next week. And for those who have no green resolutions, think about it twice. Isn’t life more fun when you are excited about something new? Any room for change in your life? I know: work on making your orange resolutions become green!

By the way, my green resolution is about increasing my service to others through my coaching services, starting and keeping a blog, and a facebook page. Lights, camera, action! I know, nothing surprising. I think it is a good sign!

January 14th, 2014

1/14/2014

Post by My Coach Isabelle.

New Year's Resolutions - Thinking about it (part 1)

1/11/2014

For many, "new year's resolutions" sounds like a naive thing to do, almost as if, those things you'd dare putting on the list would just be the ones you know you'll never do. "What's the purpose? No one ever keeps their new years resolutions! If you need new year to start thinking about them, how motivated are you really?". I would agree with that last comment any time of the year except in January. What if they just happen to come at that time of the year?

My belief is that any time is a good time, EVEN the New Year!

So if you are against new year's resolution, you simply are against new resolutions all together. Then, we really have a problem!

The right time is when YOU FEEL IT. When you feel the energy within you start boiling and you feel pushed to TAKE ACTION.

When that happens, it is also the right time to gather the support you'll need. Support you will need to reach your goals, or to simply make your journey more pleasant. Because let's add this: part of the goal is to enjoy THE JOURNEY to the goal. More about that another time...

Ok, so after this deep introduction, let's get practical. I have to confess to you, that I, a life coach, have never made new year's resolutions.. Ouch.. just lost half of you on this one...! Just being honest here. I just follow my own internal calendar.

But maybe I can make an effort, try something new, and see how it feels and goes.
So here is my first list ever. Well, give me a few days to make it, I don't want to commit lightly.

Meanwhile... anyone has a list readily available to share?